16 years and she's still hanging around?

Yeah, I know it's what you are thinking.

Well, another year of suffering has come and gone for my better half. We got cast out of heaven (refugees from Fort Huachuca), had a degree go down in a blaze of glory, a completion of another degree (you go, girl!), and have a teenager with a driver's permit.

However, that pales in comparison to what has happened since October 23, 1992. Yeah, that's right the early 90s, like when we graduated high school and got to vote in a presidential election for the first time, all in the same year. Exactly two years and 3 days after our first date, the crazy woman completely lost her mind and made the biggest blunder of her life, trading "I dos" with yours truly. Now, you may forever doubt her judgement, her taste in guys, or her sanity in general, but I will have you know that I didn't use a Jedi mind trick on her, as they only work on the week minded, nor did I have her drugged in any way on that fateful night 16 years ago.

16 years. How do you put up with a slacker for 16 years? How am I neither living on the streets dancing for pennies, nor chained to a bed post in a cuckoo farm spouting random lines from Star Trek ("Engage" "Make it so" "There are four lights!!!" "Shut up Wesley!")

Well, I think we all know; it's my hot bod! (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!)

But seriously, what I ever did to end up with the woman of my dreams is unbeknownst to me and is one of the greatest unsolved mysteries since the beginning of time. Or..... it could be that time when I was 15 and went deep into the jungle and saw this Panamanian Witch Doctor who gave me the Elixir of Love made from the saliva of an iguana and mango juice extract. I left Panama soon thereafter and duped a poor girl into a date. Thankfully, she knows nothing about what I slipped into her drink that night and the rest is history.

Now, to quote Alfalfa of Little Rascals fame "Let's raise a toast to the girl I love most in the whole world.... LINDA!!!!!!!!

(Perhaps I drugged her after all) shhhhhhh