I had been admiring said canoe from afar, like a small boy with his face pressed up against the glass of a display window, and today it was going to finally be mine! Into the store we strolled and down the aisle to the spot and.... it was gone!
"No! It can't be true! That's impossible!"
"Search your feelings; you know it to be true!"
"Nooooooooo!!!"
With my tail firmly between my legs, my hopes shattered like a wrecking ball connecting with a windshield or a light bulb dropped from the Empire State Building embracing the pavement, I moseyed over to the Customer Service desk to ask about the canoe. They had sold the last one the day prior and weren't getting any more because it was deemed, the dreaded fate of all merchandise everywhere, a "phased out" item. My heart sank to my butt, but undeterred I reached down my throat and restored my heart to its proper place, sallied forth and asked if any stores in the surrounding area had any. They couldn't exactly tell with apparently antiquated automation equipment, (aren't these people networked?) but I did receive some phone numbers for stores in Nashville. I frantically dialed and came to find out that a store on the northern side of Nashville still had two in stock. Can I buy it over the phone? NO! I was ready to go right then and there, but, alas, cooler (and wiser) heads prevailed as my better half reminded me that the kids would be home from school in a couple hours (So?) and we wouldn't make it back in time (Oh). I had the next day off anyway (Friday) due to good ol' Labor Day (gotta love the Army four-day weekend!) and prayed that I, and more importantly my canoe, would live to see tomorrow.
The morning broke, the shadows fled, the kids went on their merry way to school, uphill both ways, 1500% humidity that one could make Kool-aid by throwing powder-mix in the air like rice at a wedding, and we began our ramble down to Nashville which was an excellent scenic drive as we didn't take the interstate, spotting several excellent places to enjoy the canoe along the way. We arrived shortly after the store opened and I ran inside and... no canoe! This can NOT be happening! I scrambled over to the Customer Service desk and thrust a small scrap of paper, on which was scribbled the canoe's item #, on to the counter.
"I called yesterday evening and you had two left. Where are they?" My eyelids closed to form slits, my eye brows furled. Yeah, that will scare 'em!
"We have one left. Someone faxed in an order." Doth my ears deceive me? Faxed order? Somehow the joker who had answered the phone call I made the previous day failed to mention that option.
"I will pay for it NOW!" The cashier punched in the item # and it was substantially less than the price I had previously seen. Ah! phased out item gets cheaper until they are gone. Lucky for me. Cha-ching! A couple Sam's workers brought it out and it was finally mine, my own, my precious.... Mounting it to the Suburban was another adventure, but we made it home safe and sound. Now if I can just find some (purchase) life jackets, the right weather, and the time to go hit one of the plethora of rivers and streams around here we will finally christen the darn thing and embark on its maiden voyage. Now, I just need a name..... (No, not Orca after Dad's beastly Utah truck.)
A safe trip home.
Rose the mariner or marinette?
They sure grow 'em big down here!!!
BYU blocked the PAT!!! (sigh of relief) 2-0 and longest winning streak in the nation. (including last year) Time to crash the ineptitude that is the BCS system. What a crock!!!!
2 comments:
I don't know what you are talking about with BYU and PAT and BCS--I think the Army obsession with acronyms has finally claimed your brain. You better find time to use that canoe now that you have it buddy.
That thing is big enough to live in! Good for you! I say. There is nothing quite like finally getting something you've wanted for so very long. It smacks of Scott's description of that feeling you get when you get to pee after holding it for longer than you should have.
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